So I almost dated an axe-murderer

I have met a lot of crazy people and done a lot of stupid shit in my life. I suppose I've always had a carpe diem approach to things, justifying my actions by saying, "Well it seemed like a good idea at the time!"

I don't want to even get into some of the things I've done, lest I be judged, but let it suffice to say that I am shocked that I have never:
- been arrested
- ran off to Mexico with a band of hippies
- ended up comatose in a hospital
- been slipped a roofie and kidnapped
- become a roadie for a rock band
- become a groupie of a rock band
- suffered from long term brain damage
- lost any limbs
- gotten entire sleeves tattooed on myself

Mostly though, I've been pleasantly surprised by how these encounters turn out, they've afforded me great opportunity to get to know some amazing people and have some unique experiences.

The operative word here is "mostly". Like I said, I've met some characters and one particular guy stands out in my mind.

This is another Tucson story. I'm beginning to realize that when I was a senior in college my dating life took on a very laissez-faire approach. Anyway, near my apartment complex was a grocery store called Fry's. This is indeed the same Fry's that owns the Fry's Electronics stores in the Bay Area. I guess they were started by brothers - one went the electronics route while the other went groceries. There was a cute young guy there that caught my eye (surprise fucking surprise). You can judge me all you want but when you're a 21 year old college student who works at a tanning salon (an oxymoron if I've ever heard of one, a tanning salon in Arizona) the fact that you're considering slumming it with the bagger boy is pretty trivial.

For months I would see him whenever I'd go to pick up groceries or toiletries, or as was often the case, a bottle of booze or beer. Sometimes he would be helping me. Other times I'd merely pass him by in the store. We always made eye contact. He always made a point to smile and say hello.

I don't remember how we eventually ended up exchanging numbers but we did, and began texting with each other. And eventually plans were made to hang out. Ok, I'll be honest. Plans were made to do a drug deal over at his house and somehow that constituted hanging out.

Yes, it's true. One of the many stupid things I've done in my life included dabbling in drugs, but I believe that on this particular evening I wasn't making a purchase for myself. I don't think bagger boy, whom I'll refer to as BB henceforth, was even a dealer really - we were merely the middle men between the dealer and my friend who was looking to score a hit. Ok, add that to the list... shocked I never ended up becoming a drug mule in a drug empire that a Mexican cartel was running from Nogales to the States via Tucson. I was a silly fuck, yes I was, but you're pretty much invincible when you're 21, obvi.

So on the appointed evening, I drove over to his house. I went in and we chit-chatted with his roommate while BB weighed out the goods. Ever the gracious host, lines were offered along with a beer. Both were probably accepted. After the exchange was made I hung out for a little while longer, getting to know the kid (by this time I found out he was 19 - this was a problem for obvious reasons).

As we're sitting in his room, checking out his posters, guitar, what the fuck ever, he mentions he's an artist.

"Oh really? What kind of art?"
"Oh, all kinds but I've been sketching a lot lately. Want to see some recent work?"

How dishy. He might be a child, but he's cute and an artist. His stock was beginning to rise in my eyes.

He pulls out several sketchpads. He flips through a couple pages, showing me some still life, a nude, scenes that were drawn, an Asian girl... and then, another Asian girl...

"Huh," I thought, "how funny. That drawing looks oddly like me, but I probably only think that because it's an Asian girl and we all look alike anyway."

As he continued to flip through the pages, more and more sketches of the same Asian girl popped up. I couldn't deny it to myself any longer. That Asian girl in the drawings was me.

I'm sure some girls would have been flattered, even touched, by this gesture. He was obviously entranced enough to sketch me from memory, not once but a good ten times. Well, I am not like most other girls. The alarms went off in my head and I was freaked out. His stock plummeted to negative numbers and I began to panic just a little bit.

I don't even remember what happened right after this, all I know is that the foremost thought in my head was "GET OUT OF HERE." I probably made up some lame excuse and made my exit.

BB followed me out to my car and held me close at the door. He bent forward to kiss me and nuzzle my neck as I braced myself and hoped he would hurry the fuck up and get on with his goodbyes so I could get the hell out of there.

"It's such a nice night. You know there are some amazing views up in the mountains, I would love to take you up there for a drive, we can stargaze and just see the city lights. No one else goes out there - we could be all alone."

If I was creeped out before this pushed me over the edge. My non-romantic/no bullshit/guy's girl/hates chicks flicks/makes fun of sappy girls self screamed inwardly, "OH SWEET JESUS HE'S AN AXE-MURDERER I KNEW IT!!!"

In retrospect I suppose I was being a little melodramatic but dammit I wasn't taking any chances. I may seize life by the seat of the pants but this was too much. Go to a stranger's house to buy drugs? Sure. Go on a romantical date with a sweet tender boy who drew beautiful pictures of me to stargaze in the mountains? I don't think so. I might do some stupid shit but at least I escaped that potential white abduction van scenario where I end up hacked to pieces in the Pima wash four days later. See? I have a little bit of self-preservation in me.